Back to the good stuff : Will's Big Day!!

**One last comment about my previous post, then on to the good stuff....


After reading it, I didn't want to sound whinny, ungrateful, or wimpy. Life is just hard sometimes, but for those of you who didn't know, we did have a lot of 'challenges' in a short time in addition to adopting and adding a new child to our family. From February to September the attachment/Sammy issues, Wills health issues, Mike starting a new job, then having hernia surgery, a water leak in our kitchen and a complete kitchen remodel, the death of just about every appliance I owned, starting high school and middle school for 2 of our girls and the ADHD worsening this year. (wonder why??) SOO I'm done whining...I HAVE been counting my blessings more and trying to simplify...but just wanted to share all the reasons for the "Keeping it real post"


NOW...the GOOD STUFF!!!



As I mentioned in my last post, Will turned five a few days ago!!! It was a sweet special day!!! I just love firsts, and I just love how excited kids get over their birthdays, and for Will this one was something else. In a family of five it's really something to get to pick, to be 'in charge'. This was something poor Will didn't understand, he'd obviously never given this privilege, even in the whole year home with us!


I asked, "Will where do you want to go for lunch?"....(it was just the two of us mind you, a special Mommy and Will date) All I hear is silence from the back seat....."Will, honey...what do you want for lunch?"

"Cheeseburger, Mommy"

"Where do you want to go eat your cheeseburger, you get to pick since it's your birthday!"

silence again...finally he says

"Mommy, what's You Pick??"

Poor little guy! I got very specific after that, of course we ended up at McDonald's, followed by a trip to ToysRUs. He PICKED! "Chinese Noodles" for dinner (Mom made Lo Mein) Which he LOVED! Check out the pics! What fabulous chop stick form in the beginning, but then he decided he could shovel more in using two hands after a few bites a few big YUMS!!! Lightning McQueen still rules the little guys in our house and the highlight was singing and blowing out candles..twice!! A BIG DAY for Will indeed...one I hope he really will remember!

It wasn't so easy to be Sammy however. He put on a brave face most of the day, but had to be reminded over and over his Bday was in 10days. Whales of "NO SAMMY" could be heard periodically throughout the day.... *sigh*

This is the tough stuff. I really struggled with caving and having a small gift for the other at each party...but opted to hold my ground and give each their own day from the beginning. Will will tolerate it better, watch and see ;)

Keeping it real.....part 3

AWWWW..keeping it real posts. These always feel heavy, liberating, necessary. I'm very sentimental, and reflective right now. Today's Will birthday!!!!! My baby's five ...his FIRST birthday with a family. I've been an emotional fool the last few days. I've wanted to see him smile - BIG and frequently, and so far so good. It's the simple stuff when they are little. Line leader at preschool, McDonald's date all by himself with mom and a trip to Toys R Us to pick out ANYTHING he wanted. (it's still safe to do that when your 5) He's napping now...but he still has alot to come..."noodles" for dinner (his fav - Lo Mein) and 'Matter' Cake for dessert (translation - Pixar "Cars" movie...you know, Lightning McQueen and Tow Mater???)

It's hard to believe it's been a full year since he's joined our family...WOW, a year. It's been a hell of a ride. He's come sooo far, we all have. I could easily sit here and candy coat it for you...hit the highlights, focus on only the positive...but if I did, I wouldn't have titled it "keeping it real" huh? Truth is, this has been one of the most challenging years of my life. I'd do it again in a heart beat....but there were times I wondered if my sanity, marriage, and finances were going to make it. It's been a big year....there have days even weeks that I've convinced myself that I must have been crazy for doing THIS. Times when I was just SICK of APPOINTMENTS... doctors appts, for Spina Bifida, for ADHD for Asthma, OT appts PT exercises, breathing treatments and 3 or 4 trips to the school a day, and organizing everyones schedule and falling asleep everytime I sit down, and not having seen an adult movie in 6months, giving up bathing so I can answer emails and read blogs, the VOLUME of noise in my house, constantly hearing "MOMMY", the never ending laundry, my house never ever ever being clean, the damn budget...did I mention I have a job??? when I think if I didn't have so many kids we could travel and have the house paid off...and God was INSANE when He thought I could handle this!!!!!....weeks when I felt so damn selfish and the thoughts in my head where soooo far from Christian....My husband was useless, and how can I try this hard and my kids be so ill behaved and FIGHT all the time and scream everytime I leave the room...God wouldn't cross my mind for days. I hated it all....I felt alone, overwhelmed and sick of faking it!!! Because Lord knows when you CHOOSE to have five kids you better put on a happy face and be the best darn mother around....if you complain or have a bad day, you get that half smile "LOOK"..... OR sometimes if your related they can just come right out and say it.......

"What did you think would happen you adopted all those kids"....it was a very lonely year at times

BUT then......You get on your knees and count your blessings.....you ask for strength......you remind yourself WHY..... you see it in their faces....in their toothless grins....their morning snuggles....bedtime stories....Saturday night dance parties under the disco ball....homemade "I love you" cards....Thursday night "vampire diary" dates.....Stories of "the first kiss".......Walks to Starbucks....Watching them ride their bikes for the first time......Jump roping in the front yard....Watching a boy who had NOTHING just weeks ago get his first bike......Gotcha Day Celebrations.....Celebrating first birthdays with a family...

THEN you Dust off your knees, wipe your tears, focus on what matters and realize God didn't say it would be easy....He just said He would be there.....

BRING IT ON 2012!!!!!! I'M FEELIN BULLET PROOF!

The worst blogger award goes to......(drum roll please).....

Well me of course...

I'm not even sure how to paraphrase the last 2 month...they were big ones!!! Thanksgiving, Christmas, School plays, finals, OT/PT Wills first holidays, a White Trash New Years Eve Party...a blissfully uneventful week after Christmas...and now, back to the grind! and crazy me did a small bathroom remodel the first week back to real life....but never forget a chick CAN use powertools....

The highlights....

Will is doing well with his PT...balance is getting better, he maybe looking a brace for his foot to help him not twist his ankle...He also went through a 10 weeks "observation" time at our states "Early Start" preschool. He just missed qualifying so he was 'observed' It was a fabulous place, really in touch with sensory play ect...HOWEVER, he didn't qualify so after 10 weeks they told us goodbye. I had mixed emotions. It's a good problem to have that your kid with Spina Bifida is ready for main stream preschool 8m off the plane...but it WAS a great school! He's just starting his new school and doing great!

Sam was referred to OT by preschool. Once there they dx him with a sensory issue. I've shared some of the difficulties he and Will have had, such as Sam being aggresive and regressive. After 10m I felt like transition time was over and something still wasn't right but I just couldn't put my finger on what it was. When I filled out his evaluation forms, they picked up on sensory stuff right away and I was relieved to talk about it something "not sitting right" with me. His therapist feels some of his excessive volume might be a sensory issue!! I told her if she could make his quieter I'd kiss her feet and give her a FAT bonus hahahahaha!!! We are already seeing some good improvement, he's learning some great calming techniques. He's still the sweetest kid ever and Mommy's boy through and through! He tells people I went to China and got "the cutest boy in China"!! Love it and how true!!

Brynn....she's just BRYNN! When people ask me about her I say she should just have "YUMMY" over her head in a big bubble :) She's sweet, affectionate, funny...she fights with her sister WAY! more than I'd like, but other than that...I'd love to freeze her...she's kinda perfect....**sigh**

Kenna is growing up and up and up!!! I think she's a foot taller than this time last year and ALL legs! She'll be eleven in a few weeks and wears a bigger shoe than her soon 15yo sister..and is almost as tall, and stealing her handme downs from last year!!! She's fabulous in soccer and had a great season...just joined the art club which is SOOOO her. She was also chosen for selective choir and got to travel and spend an entire day out of school at KMA learning from some of the best conductors in the state!

Jessa is rocking out high school...now that we are half way through her freshman year, she's got it!!! (change isn't easy for my big girl) Just a fraction short of straight A's (BUT in two advanced classes!) Active in every club that would let her in, and acting and singing her heart out! My favorite club she is in is "Harry Potter Club" They have a sorting hat and everything!! She's in Slytherin and was actually happy about it since Gryffindor is so passe'...hhmmm who knew?? It's basically a philanthropy club and they do community service and try to throw in the Harry Potter theme when they can, but have fun HP themed meetings, games ect...I WANNA JOIN!!!!

and how about mom and dad??

WELL...I drive ALOT. 3-5 trips to school a day is the average...The boys appts, the girls extracurricular activities...At one time I was shopping for a minivan with a toilet in it so I could just never get out...I've figured out how to travel with food and clothes already..but unless I buy and RV...I'm still going to have to get out for THAT reason!!! hahah....Christmas was more challenging than usual this year...but the restful week after I enjoyed more than usual because I was tierd more than usual...I enjoyed my kids...OH, and I'm going to have Grandpuppies....my furbaby Nelli left yesterday to be bred to a beautiful tri Cavalier...I'm missing her already...but the babies will be stunning....I just hate that she will be gone @3m while her puppies nurse and get old enough to be placed.....Luckily, she will be close and I can visit alot!!!

I'm not sure how I manage to work two days a week in all this....and did I mention we are considering moving....I guess it's no surprise with 5 kids, 3 dogs a cat and a goldfish the house feels a little 'tight'??? Wouldn't life be dull if we chose the 'easy path'?

Catchin' Up a little...and more advocating!

First of all, one of my favorite China homes...Eagles Wings has put out a really touching video about their work...they do such wonderful things for the special needs kids in China and I've seen so many of their milder kids come home, they give such great care there!! and if you visit my blog regually at all, you know my love for sweet Charlie...this is where he lives...there are a few glimpes of him in the video! Check out the 'tude in the photo of him! He's so stinkin cute...he was pouting at one of the volunteer and put his little hands on his hip and told her ALL about it!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otUn6LmXYd8

the little girl in the photo next to Charlie is Lilli DOB 12/09...I've advocated for her before and she is available for adoption again with Wasatch...she had a family that chose to release her file for complicated reasons. I have tons of info on this beautiful baby...her eye tumor and file has been evaluated by @3 different pediatric optholmoligist specialist thanks to my wonderful doctor who has forwarded it on to different specialist. The latest is at the "Wills Eye Hospital in Philidelphia" !!!!! Fortunately, they are all giving this little doll a cautiously optomistic report about her tumor being of benign and not cancerous and easily treatable!!!

PLEASE email me if you are interested in any additional info in either of these sweet children!!! Charlie is on the shared list and can be accessed by any agency! PM me for his chinese name and dob!!!

and please....someone explain to me why all week, I drag, kick and plead with the children to get out of bed and get moving and here at 7:45a on Saturday morning when mom's trying to blog, have a little coffee and quiet time they are all standing before me bright eyed, bushy tailed and wanting breakfast!!!!! GGGRRRR family catchin' up to come later!!!!

Just pictures....because I'm to lazy to blog!

I could have SOOOOO written this, and really wish I had!!!!

Man I wish I could take credit for writing this article...I can't TELL you how many times I've heard this....and I'm going to say it now...THE DESIRE TO ADOPT AGAIN HAS NOT LEFT MY HEART....SO THERE!!!

Will it happen again...shrug...can't say right now, but I can't tell you how many people said the first few weeks off the plane with Will

"how sweet, your family is complete"

Like we'd already surpassed the social norm so there just was NO WAY we'd ever do THIS again!!! CRAZY!

I know it wasn't ment in harm...but..just read - she says it so well!!!

BRAVO!!!



Over the years, starting even when we had just two kids, I have heard statements (from friends, family, and strangers alike) such as “you don’t need any more kids,” “you have enough kids,” “well, surely now you have enough kids” and “why would you adopt again? You have enough kids already!”

These types of statements used to make me feel like I had to explain our decisions or they used to make me feel like I needed to be a better parent because maybe if they saw that I was the best parent in the universe, they would think that I could “handle” more kids.

I have tried (in vain) to explain to people that we are adopting children WHO DO NOT HAVE A FAMILY, kids who NEED A HOME, but this does not seem to matter to those who continue to make this statement after or before each addition we have made to our growing family. I know that some of it has been said by those who are concerned because they do not want to see us overwhelmed or having a harder life than we could have if we chose the easier path, but this is the path we have chosen, and all we need need is support.

Recently, a family member said to me again, “you have enough kids” and for the first time, instead of feeling like I needed to justify our decisions and make excuses and explanations, I felt angry. I thought about all the other times that people have said to me similar things and I realized that many of those things were said before the addition of some of our kids, kids who those same people now love and adore. Kids who now have a home and a family. Kids who are no longer orphans. Kids who I could not be more proud to call my children. Kids who have made our lives richer, not harder. Kids who have taught me more than I have taught them. Kids who have given me more than I have given them. Kids who we would not know had we thought of our family in terms of “enough.” And, I was angry.

I have listened to well-meaning friends or family members over the years say things that have hurt, badly, and for the most part, I have remained silent. Some people said this when we only had two kids or three or four, if four was “enough kids,” then what does that say about the last three?
Another reason it has me so upset is that we are talking about human beings here, precious children, not possessions. To say that one can ever have “enough” children sort of sounds like they are shoes or something.

Another is that I have never seen how it is deemed okay for people to question our personal decisions and give unsolicited advise and judgments, but it is not okay for us to do the same to them. What I mean is that when it comes to things that go against the norm, things like adoption, having a large family, and homeschooling, it seems that everyone and their neighbour thinks it’s somehow acceptable to tell us what a terrible thing we are doing.

Can you imagine how inappropriate it would be for me to say to a friend that I thought it was a selfish decision to go back to work full time when their baby was 4 months old because they wanted to pay for a nicer vacation or to say to a family member that it sickens me to think of all the starving children who could be fed for the cost of one of the brand new vehicles they buy for themselves every year? People judge it wrong that we went into debt to pay for an adoption of two children, but think nothing of going into debt themselves for a newer car, a bigger house, or even the latest computers, gadgets, and fashions!

I do not walk around telling people that they should not move because the house they have is “enough” or that they should not get another TV because the two they already own are “enough” or that they should not buy the latest iPhone because they just bought the last version and that should be “enough.” And, if you are shaking your head thinking, “yeah, but those are things, not children” then you are starting to get the point here! It is actually pretty uninformed to say “you have enough kids” as though they were objects. If there were ever anything I would want “too many” of, it would be children. Children are a blessing.

In response to the inevitable question, “are we going to adopt more kids?”, the answer is this: I don’t know. If you look only at logic, then the answer is…probably not. Logic dictates that seven children is nowadays, in North America, a huge family. Logic dictates that seven children is a huge expense. Logic dictates that I have a husband who is much more rational than I am and is less apt to make decisions based purely on emotion. Logic dictates a lot, but it does not dictate the size of our family. For now, we are done. That could mean forever. Or it could mean that tomorrow we will start the process for another adoption. Because God trumps all logic in my mind and in my heart. Our family size will be determined by God. He has called us to adopt, and I know that He is still working in our family.

As a message to our friends and family and to the friends and families of others who choose paths that are less socially acceptable…
Please support and love us where we are at, on the path that we have chosen. Pray for us, because the path that we have chosen is not an easy one. We know that you did not choose this path and we are not asking you to adopt yourself or have a large family yourself. We are not even asking you to understand or like the path we have chosen. If you choose to come and visit us on this journey once in awhile and ask how we are or offer your help, we would appreciate it greatly, but if you can only offer judgment and harsh words, please heed the wise advise of Thumper in “Bambi”…”if you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all”!

Oh my aching Advocating Heart....

Oh, sweet Charlie, how I'd love to add him to the DeLuca clan...he still waits, click below to read about him or copy/paste the link didn't seem to work, sorry

http://onemoremakes4.blogspot.com/2011/06/im-advocating-again.html

What a sweet smile this 6yo boy has!

Remeber Lillianan? Click below to read about her story...she's still waiting....
http://onemoremakes4.blogspot.com/2011/07/lillianna-needs-us.html

This is Reed, he just turned two in March....be steal my heart!!!

First of all, sorry for the absence. Blogging sometimes slips to
the bottom of my priority list. I wish I was one of those really cool bloggers that could slip in a few fab pics and a few well written lines that seems to sum up all things going on in their lives, but I just haven't seemed to master that talent yet. You'll figure it out when I do. Then only thing that sums up our lives right now is I'm shopping for a minivan with a toilet in it so I don't ever have to get out and could be more effiicent since all I'm doing this school year is driving..constantly!div>

BUT what hasn't slipped to the bottom of my priority list is my love of advocating for the waiting children in China. I still take time most days of the week to answer questions, offer medical advise when I know what I'm talking about, review files when appropriate and sometimes fall in love with a few and really push for them. I enjoy it...I love seeing families formed, and I'm getting better I'm a "slueth"now if you will. I can help pre adoptive families find information. I know things, I know yahoo groups, which agencies are involved where, who's doing what...I just love helping...I'm not the BEST out there, but I help....I've said before, I knew the second I met Sam and traveled to that orphanage in China God had opened my eyes to a big my passion in life..I wasn't sure WHAT all I was suppose to do, but I knew I was forever changed.

Sometimes it's hard though, sometimes your heart just aches, sometimes you just want to scream and yell for the precious ones sitting there "WHERE ARE YOUR FAMILIES? WHY ARE YOU STILL THERE?" I cry for them sometimes....I pray for them alot. You hate to watch the ones you get attached to have a birthday. A day likely noone recognized, another year older, statistically now less likely to be adopted, a sad day in a way....

Adoption isn't easy, it's not for everyone, but I just want to shake people sometimes and say...can't you see, don't you care, how can you leave them there, it's not THAT expensive, ....and then I think...how can I leave them there? and then my husband threatens to divorce me and take away my laptop if I show him another baby that needs a Mommy - **sigh** How many kids CAN you have and pay your mortgage and be sane??? shrug?? Truth is, we are maxed........you just feel so helpless sometimes....

Thanks for letting me vent, and cry a little on this gray Saturday while I sit with a fever and bronchitis missing soccer games listening to Will and Sam play at volume 1 million...why ARE they so stinkin loud?? could I handle the noise of another child?? Good Lord NO!!!

div>As mention, the faces above are those who wait who have stolen my heart....please contact me if interested.....