WARNING: Potential wordy blog entry!!
I've had alot on my mind...it started with an aquaintance from church who I am tied to through the wonderful world of adoption. She and her husband are alittle more fresh faced and younger than us, but they have this sweet, energetic, cherub face 5yo little fella from a domestic adoption, you can't help but be drawn to! Her mother connected us, and we've been friendly since....this sweet families world has been one crazy rollercoaster the last 3 weeks. Everything from the glory of a referral of a new son, and the beauty of childbirth, to the struggles of newborns/breastfeeding and a birthmother, to the ULTIMATE heartbreak of having to receive the phone call............"we think the birthmothers changed her mind"
Why is this so important to me and why all the details on my blog? First of all I'm a caring Christian and would of course my heart would ache for my friend...but really people the intensity of my emotions were a little surprising..the morning I read the news I couldn't leave the house for the spontaneous tear that seemed to spring from my face everytime I thought of them..All I could think, is what if that had happened with Sammy? (I know impossible with China..it's empathy) I remember the immediate intensity of the love I felt for my newborn babies and the pleasant surprise at the protectiveness and love I developed for Sammy in just a few days...I prayed almost constently for them...my heart just BROKE for their situation (including the birthmom)...my 13 yo even eventually gave me hug and told me she'd ask her class to pray and not to worry it would be ok...(alright mom, get a grip the kids are noticing) FYI - their situation isn't 100% resolved things are looking more positive now! They would appreciate prayers
and my friend Angie - someone I met on a chat group while advocating for my "now son". We had lots in common including our Catholic faith. Ended up she lived in Louisville and after a few million emails we started driving back and forth to get together for lunch and playdates...I've made a new and dear friend!
and Jennifer from New Orleans...oh could I go on about that story! When Sammy was adopted he was the first to leave the orphange in a year and a half - there were just not many adoptions from there. When I visited those kids, one of the most heartbreaking things that I couldn't get to leave my mind was the from there history, most of those children would never leave.. When we visited a little girl captured my heart after we scared her to death! Here's a link to a short video (and yes, that is Will in the Tan overall and orange shirt)...I so worried about her and all of them and I PRAYED hard for those kids!!! she and Will specifically...since then...praise the Lord over 11 kids have found homes and left the orphanage...do you know who the FIRST one after Sammy was....that little girl in the yellow!!! (prayers answered??...I think so!!!) I've stayed close with her mom and we are meeting for the first time this month and I CANNOT!! wait to see Wesleigh again!!!
and Jackie...my email buddy from our last agency who kept me sane during Sam's adoption! We got SOOO lucky and traveled together to China! This past summer we detoured to Charlotte on our way home from vacation and had an overnight visit!
I could keep going, but I won't you get it!...what I finally relized and have never really put together is that adoption binds us immediately...we are family because of it...we can support and understand each others experiences like noone else. Adoption isn't for everyone..it's amazing, it's hard, it's one of the best decisions of my life and one of the biggest emotional rollercoasters I've ever experienced...and I thank God everyday for leading me here. If you are considering it...please know you will not only gain a new child, but you will also gain a family if you open your heart and you are never spirtually emotionally or physically alone if you don't want to be....
and I am so thankful for you all!!!!