Friday, April 29, 2011

For those willing to open their hearts and homes!! I LOVE YOU!!

so loved

Most of ya'll know Stephanie...she's kinda hard not to know! With that "big 'O family of hers" :) and all she does to help those little one's waiting in China! I think she's pretty amazing myself...maybe a little crazy...but crazy in a good way...crazy in a way I wish I could be sometimes! Any woo....check out what's she's got going on these days over at NiHao Y'all...there's an amazing fundraiser for her even more amaizing new daughters waiting in China!! I think this makes 10 for her and Chris...I tip my hat girl!!!

and on a more local note...My dear friend Cynthia I met through fundraising has also opened her heart to another lovely little one who is just TOOO cute for words...I'm REALLY hoping to be hosting a fundraiser to help her and Adam out VERY soon.... details to come...all us girls need/want start thinkin' about what your summer wardrobe needs...

and God bless y'all!!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Easter Memories

-We ate too always!!
-We slept to little and got our schedules WAY always
-We were blessed with great news from the newlyengaged AND the newlyweds!!!
-Big news about the upcoming wedding and MAYBE some family member relocating back to Lexington soon! (fingerscrossed!)
-Sammy had a fever yesterday (and today)!
-I woke up Easter morning and relized I 'forgot' to buy the boys Easter clothes and sprinted to Walmart in a rain storm with wet hair in my Easter dress and heals 1 hour and 15minutes before church...(SMOOTH)
-We counted our blessings and gave our thanks to the ONE that really matters!!!
-and did I mention my kids all looked sooooo stinkin cute! and held it together pretty darn well after a morning of sugar engorgment and the having to sit still during the longest Mass of the year!
-after Mass, we went over to Mike's brother's house for a HUGE Easter egg hunt, time with family & friends and an enormous feast!!!
-Hope your Easter was as BLESSED and EXCITING as ours!

Saturday, April 23, 2011


Boy am I lovin' my doc's today! Will had his MRI yesterday at UC. They were fab! The anesthia group there was so great with Will. Ton's of smiles, bubbles, toys distractions to keep him busy during all the registration, history taking abdominal xrays ect....We were able to stay with him, and I was able to hold him while they gave him gas sedation....they waited until he fell asleep to put in his IV, they have the superfast MRI so it only took about 2hrs...all SUCH great things! PROPS to the University of Cincinnati Children's Hospital!!! Plus he woke up with minimal effort, minimal confusion and we were out the door in a half hour...he was running around the house in two hours....

The cherry on top? They faxed the results to my peditrician at 4:30p yesterday (while we were still in recovery) who called my at 9:30a on a Saturday morning to let me know everything looked hydrocephalus (he had a CT in China that said he had this) confirmed lipomeningocelle, and a good repair with no surprises!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

We still have to go see the neuro team at the SB clinic in a few weeks, but how wonderful not to have that worry tapping in the back of the head until then!!!! I couldn't be more happy for Will!!! It looks like his SB is indeed going to as mild as it appears after all!!! TEARS and CHEERS!!!!! God told me from the beginning he would be fine!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

It's good to be the King!!

(Really? Do they think someone's going to take it while they watch TV??)

In case in of you ever wondered how the "bigs" treated the "littles" around here, ya know!!!!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

....and on a lighter note!

We sure have been busy squeezin' in the fun the last few weeks! From band concerts, to March Madness basketball parties, spring break, and a being blessed with God parents of some near and dear friends newest sweety Samuel! Plus, life with my wonderfuly exhausting cavemen has taken a turn for the better...isn't it funny how kids KNOW when they pushed you to the edge and back off right before they come and take their Mommy away in one of those funny white coats!! (haha!) Enjoy the pics! AND...pray for ALL my boys and my youngest girls...Jessa and I leave tonight for 5 days in Washington DC with the 8th grade class. It should be a blast, but I worry about Sam and Will in my absence. (big Mommy's boys) I think I have Mike well taken care of with carpool, sitter's and ride's to and from extracurricular activities...maybe I'll get a raise when I get home! HA!

Friday, April 1, 2011

Keepin' it real........part two...

My first "keepin in real" post happened during my trip to China...I found it very personally therapeutic, and it DID help other. At least that's the vibe I got from the PM's and comments I got, and ya'll already know I don't have one of those "aren't we the perfect family" kinda blogs.....

You can read it here

Unfortunately, it's time for another...... I've hinted that this transition's been tougher...the "neoandrathal" comments...the request for parenting advice...but I've done what I usually do, smoothed it over with humor. The truth is, I've been struggling...and it started building up until I had myself a good ole fashion melt down about two weeks ago. I found myself struggling with what I call the "LOGICAL" and "ILLOGICAL" sides of my brain. Logically I KNEW that we'd only been home for two months...Logically I KNEW that this was just a blib on the screen in the big scheme of things...Logically I KNEW Will has never been in a home enviroment and his distructiveness of my home and constant getting into things was because in an orphanage he didn't have the opportunity to explore...Logically I KNEW Sam felt invaded and was trying to be "Alpha Dog" and that had a lot to do with all the fighting and bickering...Logically I knew it would get better with time....Logically I knew Will's inconsistency using the potty and fighting me to wear a diaper only to poop in his pants 30 min later is control....Logically when I was calm and saying my prayers at night- I could tell myself all these things...I could read it in my books...I could write it in my journals...I KNEW all the right things...ILLOGICALLY I was starting to feel rages at my leather chair being destroyed by the black marker, the buttons being pulled off my pillows, the red spray paint on my walls and the cologne all over my bathroom floor. ILLOGICALLY I felt resentful that Will had CHANGED my sweet Sammy and I didn't think he was ever going to change back. LOGICALLY I knew his brother would make him a better person. I felt guilty at how much time I spent refereeing them and how little attachment work I was doing, I felt guilty I didn't love him as deeply and I did Sam at this point. One day I raged to the point I spanked him and I spanked him in a fit of rage and I was ashamed....and I collapsed in my floor....and I sobbed for a longlonglong time....and I knew I needed help..... NOW, before any of you start worrying and want to call a social worker.... Yes, he was safe...did I beat him...absolutely NOT....BUT I'm NOT a spanker. I've spanked my other kids, but rarely...... Last ditch effort, but I feel desperate with him, he's like a 40lb out of control 18m old that I can't contain with a baby gate or a baby carrier and I can't even make a meal or help my other kids with homework without finding crayon on the wall...he won't watch a movie, or TV WHEN I NEED HIM TO! So I called my agency...I needed a professional and they were fabulous...I got a good scolding for not reaching out to SOMEONE earlier and not taking better care of myself, and some excellent advice. I took it and I'm better Again, I can't say enough wonderful things about Madison! thank you Diane and Sara!!....still struggling but better. Today was a bad their fighting went straight through me and I didn't even enjoy being in my home...and I'm admitting that. Another thing I'm admitting...Do I love Will...ABSOLUTELY!!!! Do I love as crazy deeply throw myself in front of a train like I do my birth children and like I do, not yet......that's VERYVERY hard to admit and at first I was sooooo guilt ridden about that....but I think it's also very normal for sooooo many of us. With Sam, they handed him to me and it was just like the delivery room....instant crazymad love. and it was reciprical... With Will...he hated me (and Mike really) and alot of our trip was pretty awful and alot of our transition has been pretty awful...and it's making it tough....BUT it IS getting better.....There are days I feel like I'm babysitting some awful kid and I can't wait for him to be picked up...but nobodies coming...and there are days I thank God with all my heart he's here.....this has been SUCH an emotional rollercoaster and I"m just exhausted...BUT like I said, it's JUST a blip on the screen, and I feel God with me....and He never said this would be easy...He just said he'd be here and He is. AND I'm going to be fine and so are the kids! SOOO if you are with me now...or have been here...or this happens to you in the future...don't panic. Because, I'm actually a normal person, and I love God alot, and I'm a good mom...I'm just human...and I'm just trying to figure it out. And for now, I'm just going to "fake it until I make it" I now know what that means!!!! So pray for me friends...and let me know if I can do the same for you!!!!

Lots of love


PS - thanks Diane for suggesting this post, your does feel good to get it out!!!